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22% 22% [ 2 ]
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Live Text Adventure Night 9

Fri May 03, 2013 2:00 am by Alex

Occurrence: Saturday, June 1st

Any volunteers for hosting?


    Live Text Adventure Night 7

    Share
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    Alex
    Master of Ceremonies

    Male Posts : 6233
    Points : 110387
    Reputation : 38
    Join date : 2010-07-30
    Age : 21
    Location : somwhere
    20130202

    Live Text Adventure Night 7

    Post by Alex

    We be doin dis shit. It is goin be off da madd handellidgieo, yo.
    Fridizzle Nightizzle, Februarizzle 8thizzle.
    Shall we do this at 11 again, or another night?



    Last edited by Tateos of Arc on Fri May 03, 2013 2:25 am; edited 3 times in total


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    Post on Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:38 am by Alex

    EVNGLQST LOG:

    [20:59] == Tateos [webchat@ip68-9-255-65.ri.ri.cox.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [20:59] == mode/#hello-operator [+nt] by webchat.esper.net
    [20:59] == mode/#hello-operator [-o Tateos] by ChanServ
    [21:49] == SirPwn [webchat@r49-2-6-207.cpe.vividwireless.net.au] has joined #hello-operator
    [21:49] Shiiiiyet
    [21:49] Am I late?
    [21:59] == jon [~jon@cpe-173-173-10-41.hot.res.rr.com] has joined #hello-operator
    [21:59] == mode/#hello-operator [+o jon] by ChanServ
    [21:59] == mode/#hello-operator [+o Tateos] by jon
    [22:00] oh hai
    [22:00] I am here with walkinator
    [22:00] so we might do evangeliquest
    [22:00] is walkinator here in spirit?
    [22:00] no, I'm at his house. He's sitting next to me
    [22:01] "stroking my dick"
    [22:01] -walkinator
    [22:09] Lol
    [22:09] Also yo Jon
    [22:11] pfft
    [22:11] we definitely aren't browsing reddit
    [22:11] nope
    [22:12] Omg u reddit fgt u suck nerd #420 #yolo #swag
    [22:12] ps. I have no idea why everyone hates reddit, what even is with that
    [22:12] == Ptero [webchat@MW-ESR1-72-49-36-228.fuse.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [22:13] hello
    [22:13] haldo
    [22:13] it won't let me respond to you on steam tat
    [22:13] huh
    [22:13] odd
    [22:13] it says you're offline
    [22:13] Hey petro
    [22:13] hey sirpwn
    [22:14] by the way, Walk and I are sitting on the same couch making sweet, sweet love, so some of these jokes are going to be mine and some are going to be his
    [22:14] minus the sweet, sweet love
    [22:14] our love is salty
    [22:15] oh my
    [22:16] we will be right back
    [22:16] and then we will probably start
    [22:16] hopefully more people will show up
    [22:17] but we're going to go get drinks of some kind
    [22:17] let's hope so
    [22:17] because im only gonna be here for like an hour probz
    [22:17] walk wants me to make more gay jokes
    [22:17] aww
    [22:18] edgy
    [22:24] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [22:24] hey AJ
    [22:24] aaaaaay
    [22:25] wow is nobody really talking or am I crazy.
    [22:26] i'm just waiting for tat to start
    [22:26] hopefully soon before i fall asleep on my keyboard
    [22:27] I wish I remembered my irccount.
    [22:30] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 180 seconds]
    [22:32] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [22:33] back
    [22:33] is anyone else, thats the question.
    [22:33] i'm still here
    [22:33] that's about it
    [22:33] ;_;
    [22:34] ah. well fuck.
    [22:34] brb getting drunk off my ass before this starts
    [22:35] Not really, but still.
    [22:35] GOD DAMMIT TAT WAKE UP:c
    [22:36] I fucking hate not having an actual computer
    [22:36] okay it's my bedtime now
    [22:36] == Ptero [webchat@MW-ESR1-72-49-36-228.fuse.net] has quit [Quit: Web client closed]
    [22:36] MOTHERFUCK
    [22:37] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Quit: Web client closed]
    [22:38] Gfdi
    [22:38] I always bring this back up just after AJ dc's
    [22:38] Aaand I missed perto
    [22:38] fuck this shit :c
    [22:39] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [22:40] still nothing
    [22:40] hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng
    [22:41] HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI
    [22:41] we're back
    [22:42] wait
    [22:42] AJ
    [22:42] IS THAT YOU
    [22:43] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 180 seconds]
    [22:43] dammit
    [22:43] hello
    [22:43] is anyone there
    [22:44] me
    [22:44] And I missed AJ again lol
    [22:44] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [22:44] Yo AJ
    [22:45] I return once more!
    [22:45] ey!
    [22:45] 'Sup dudemanbro
    [22:45] hai
    [22:45] Walkinator are here
    [22:45] if i stop acknowledging other messages, thats just my wifi fucking up.
    [22:45] i meant to say walkinator and I are here
    [22:46] he's on the couch next to me
    [22:46] we're going to cohost
    [22:46] nothing much, just not having an actual computer
    [22:46] (Pics or it didn't happen)
    [22:46] Also yay computers
    [22:47] yes, the world needs more tatfro pictures
    [22:47] hold on
    [22:47] we will
    [22:48] so this is a dumb question but how was everyones loveday?
    [22:48] p. boring IIRC
    [22:48] jokes on you, I can barely load pictures at all.
    [22:49] okay
    [22:49] I hate not having steam also D:
    [22:49] and now
    [22:49] we will start
    [22:50] ps
    [22:50] GLORIOUS OCCASION
    [22:50] I have a random lost kitten we found onthe road on my lap
    [22:50] it's purring and licking me
    [22:51] I found a box of kittens once.
    [22:51] You awaken in a puddle of your own piss after your normal blackout from praying absurdly hard for 48 hours without a break.
    [22:51] Unfortunately, you cannot remember your name
    [22:52] "What is my name?" you ask Jesus.
    [22:52] >_
    [22:52] > Walkinator's Mom
    [22:52] way too young to be away from their mother but I took em in. I have a soft spot for cats.
    [22:52] Also that is cute as hell
    [22:53] okay, um. Let's go with roost visage.
    [22:53] > Anime-chan
    [22:53] Roost Visage is the best name, and 7957% not a joke.
    [22:55] (roost visage is fancy for dickface)
    [22:57] Alts: Rod Johnson, Tim Yalderson, Other Name
    [22:58] > Lancel Lannister
    [22:59] Josh Christ.
    [23:00] sorry, Walkinator's mom came up
    [23:00] we had to stop
    [23:00] relevant
    [23:00] but we shall continue now
    [23:00] s'alright
    [23:02] Your name is WALKINATOR'S MOM
    [23:02] Seriously though, who names their kid rod?
    [23:02] == butts [webchat@static-50-53-34-128.bvtn.or.frontiernet.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [23:03] And you have a thing for merjes-er, nothing
    [23:03] Hi level
    [23:03] hey butts
    [23:03] == butts [webchat@static-50-53-34-128.bvtn.or.frontiernet.net] has quit [Client Quit]
    [23:03] level does not like merjesus
    [23:04] Anyway, exactly north is your sculpture of jesus made of bibles
    [23:04] due south is a door
    [23:05] sounds 100% reasonable
    [23:05] to the east is the trap door to the MASTURBATORIUM, but you don't know about that
    [23:05] to the west is nothing
    [23:05] absolutely nothing
    [23:05] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Quit: Web client closed]
    [23:06] > Head east
    [23:06] > ignore trap door
    [23:09] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [23:09] the sound of a bad connection
    [23:13] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 180 seconds]
    [23:14] or > head west towards nothingness
    [23:14] sorry walk's mom came back up again
    [23:15] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [23:15] >you head west, and experience a feeling similar to...
    [23:15] hmm
    [23:16] gfd
    [23:16] http://www.hello-operator.com/t87p30-the-hoefather#1303
    [23:16] similar to that
    [23:17] You return to the room, and head east
    [23:17] all there is is a pile of tissues and what seems to be a square crack in the ground
    [23:17] But wait!
    [23:18] in the corner is a Gutenburg bible
    [23:18] What a find!
    [23:18] it must hold magical powers
    [23:18] pick it up?
    [23:18] Most definitely.
    [23:19] You pick up the Gutenburg Bible
    [23:19] and you open it up
    [23:19] >what the hell is a gutenburg bible anyway.
    [23:19] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gutenberg_Bible
    [23:20] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Client Quit]
    [23:20] you open it up, and feel as though you are beginning to ascend
    [23:20] and then you notice that a hole has been cut into the ancient, holy pages
    [23:21] in the space made by the crack, someone has left a butt plug
    [23:21] How big of a hole are we talking here
    [23:21] it has a picture of a Pony printed on it
    [23:22] you are not sure if this is your's or your son's
    [23:22] emparrassed, you but the bible down
    [23:22] > It's your sons
    [23:23] You have to talk to that boy
    [23:23] Head north to your statue
    [23:24] == Cryotech_ [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [23:25] it is a beautiful statue of Jesus.
    [23:25] His succulent thighs
    [23:25] oh, you're getting hot and bothered
    [23:25] hey, there's a piece of paper stuck in the statue
    [23:25] take?
    [23:26] >Y
    [23:26] you take the paper
    [23:26] it is a nude picture of Merjesus
    [23:26] he has a ten foot cock
    [23:26] Blushing, you quickly place it in your inventory
    [23:26] this one is definitely yours
    [23:27] head south?
    [23:27] >Y
    [23:28] hnnng, I type so slow on this thing
    [23:29] You head out into the hallway. There are several doors. Behind the easternmost door, you can hear your son moaning and something about a Princess Bubblegum involved in BDSM with Shutterfly, Dora the Explorer, and Ron Jeremey
    [23:30] "oh Princess, you taste so delicious"
    [23:30] "I love it when you chew on my anus and whip my clit"
    [23:30] at that, you head to the next door
    [23:30] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [23:31] == Cryotech_ [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 180 seconds]
    [23:31] you hear your other son watching something about the racial superiority of turtles as opposed to the average mongoose
    [23:31] it is a documentary on the history channel
    [23:31] I might give up on irc soon.
    [23:31] Behind the next door, there is a boiled goose
    [23:32] behind the fourth door, a rainbow coalition of dancing
    [23:32] everone is wearing fingerless gloves
    [23:32] Who do you pester first?
    [23:32] >Enter third room
    [23:33] You enter the third room, and bow to your mentor and sensei, the boiled goose
    [23:34] He tells you that you must purify your sons semen before he becomes a satan humping athiest
    [23:34] you piss on the goose, and he thanks you
    [23:35] that is one strange goose, but he is your goose
    [23:35] > Consult bible on how to purify your sons semen
    [23:36] you return to your sculpture of jesus, and pick out a bible from the piles
    [23:36] inside is dried semen the words URANIUM POPTARTS scribbled in red pen
    [23:36] wait, is that blood?
    [23:37] it's not important
    [23:37] You consult google on how to purify uranium
    [23:37] now you are walkinator
    [23:38] I might give up soon
    [23:38] alright
    [23:39] night guys
    [23:39] 'night
    [23:39] You've just awaken from your 48 hour masturbation session
    [23:39] your 56 hour long princess bubblegum porn film is still playing
    [23:40] you are on a bed of poptarts, empty mustard bottles, and empty pretzel bags
    [23:40] nearby is a 2 meter high pile of tissues
    [23:41] >Check if the poptarts are uranium poptarts
    [23:41] sometimes you make a fort in those tissues, as they are held together with your adhesive semen
    [23:42] one of those potarts is made of primarily Uranium-235
    [23:42] == Cryotech [webchat@ool-18bef255.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 180 seconds]
    [23:42] you aren't sure where you put it though
    [23:42] better not step on it, you put it on a loaded moustrap
    [23:43] the mice in your house are addicted to radioactive materials
    [23:43] coincidentally, they hang around your tissue pile a lot
    [23:43] south is a door
    [23:44] north is a window plastered in, well, we won't discuss that. it's talked about plenty.
    [23:45] west is the access point to your MASTURBATORIUM, where you achieved your first 257th consecutive orgasm
    [23:45] what a time
    [23:45] your penis looked like it had gangrene for months afterwards
    [23:45] >what do
    [23:46] >examine walls
    [23:47] rainbows are painted all over your walls
    [23:47] plus ponies, especially your favorite pony
    [23:47] BOHO, THE TRANVESTITE SEX OFFENDER WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM
    [23:48] [walkinator is feeding me half of these jokes, by the way. i am not being a terrible asshole]
    [23:48] >what do
    [23:49] >examine computer
    [23:49] SUDDENLY, YOUR MOM BANGS ON THE DOOR
    [23:49] panic mode
    [23:50] you examine your computer
    [23:52] == Tateos_ [webchat@ip68-9-255-65.ri.ri.cox.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [23:52] aaaaaaaaaaaaaand damn it
    [23:52] did you get the original thing
    [23:52] ?
    [23:53] == Tateos [webchat@ip68-9-255-65.ri.ri.cox.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 180 seconds]
    [23:53] panic mode
    [23:53] your mom knocks on the door
    [23:53] >escape into your masturbatorium
    [23:53] ringing any bells?
    [23:54] quickly, you grab your computer and flee to the Masturbatorium
    [23:54] IT IS A ROOM FILLED WITH DREAMS, WONDER, AND SEMEN
    [23:54] mostly semen
    [23:54] an asian prostitute is chained to the wall
    [23:54] she begins to shout profanities at you in mandarin
    [23:55] there is bubble gum stuck in her pubic hair
    [23:55] oh lawdy
    [23:55] you tell her you love her, but that this is not the time for foreplay
    [23:56] your mom has broken into your room
    [23:56] what do?
    [23:56] Barricade entrance to masturbatorium
    [23:57] you begin to shovel tissues in front of the door
    [23:57] "WALKINATOR, JESUS HAS A FEW WORDS TO SAY...
    [23:58] WITH HIS FISTS."
    [23:58] she has an axe, and begins to strike the door
    [23:58] the wood shatters, but your tissues hold
    [23:58] SOLID AS A ROCK
    [23:58] >what do
    [23:59] Retrieve waifu and escape through another exit
    [23:59] but first
    [23:59] wait no nvm
    [00:00] you grab your waifu and enter the MASTURBATORIUM BASEMENT FLOOR NO. 1.
    [00:00] you haven't been here in years
    [00:00] there are six dead asian prostitutes chained to the wall. you forgot to feed them.
    [00:01] however, you have your one true love
    [00:01] mustard
    [00:01] and your waifu, too
    [00:02] using a combination of grenades, dynamite, and intercontinental ballistic missiles, your mother has managed to break through your tissue wall
    [00:03] can you get out through the trap door that leads in here
    [00:04] well, you have to go deeper
    [00:04] to basement floor 2
    [00:04] you have not been down there since eighth grade
    [00:04] you do not know what horrors await
    [00:04] do you have any weapons in here
    [00:05] yes
    [00:05] your penis, which scientists have found contains weapons grade uranium
    [00:05] and a shotgun
    [00:06] there is a machine gun as well, but it is clogged with semen and bubblegum
    [00:07] give machine gun to prostitute, equip shotgun
    [00:07] your mother has begun to strike through the second layer of tissues with a pickaxe
    [00:07] and a jackhammer
    [00:08] and her fists
    [00:08] that last one is surprising the most productive
    [00:08] >now that you are prepared, descend
    [00:09] you descend
    [00:09] into basement two
    [00:10] ps. I might have to leave in 20
    [00:10] You are now a jewish mouse
    [00:10] that's fine
    [00:11] the only reason why you can be jewish is the result of thirty years of uranium consumption and inbreeding
    [00:11] your family began to read
    [00:11] > Be named Issac or Zac for short
    [00:12] and an old Torah (along with several hundreds of dead asian prostitutes) is all that's down here in basement 3
    [00:12] lolmakingfunofIRLpeople
    [00:12] well, along with the MYSTERIOUS WALKINATOR FAMILY SECRET
    [00:12] you hear shouting
    [00:13] and mustard application
    [00:13] your name is Isaac
    [00:14] and you really wish to prevent anybody from coming down to basement 3
    [00:14] human's have not been down here since walkinator's oldest brother moved out years ago
    [00:14] humans*
    [00:14] and you cannot flee to basement 4
    [00:14] that place is hell
    [00:14] you will never go down there again
    [00:15] what do?
    [00:15] >examine surroundings
    [00:17] there is a torah, a pencil, several hundred dead asian prostitutes, decade old used tissues, posters from the nineties, powdered cement, an aquatic resevoir, and a dead pimp named Sh'qwan floating in the water. inside his pockeets is multiple packets of ketchup
    [00:19] there is also a tool with which one would spread cement or ketchup
    [00:20] what is the entrance to this room, a staircase or what?
    [00:21] there is a spiral staircase
    [00:21] but that leads no where
    [00:21] nowhere
    [00:21] the actual exit to that room is an elevator
    [00:22] open elevator doors?
    [00:23] I guess we should cement it closed if we want to prevent people from entering
    [00:24] you cement the elevator doors shut
    [00:24] and then some people com down the staircase
    [00:25] "damn it, I could have sworn that wasn't real"
    [00:25] frogmonkey, walkinator says to you
    [00:25] frogmonkey.
    [00:25] this man is batshit crazy
    [00:25] or I'm not a literate, jewish rat
    [00:25] I thought they lead nowhere :0
    [00:26] wait wat
    [00:27] recap: staircase was real, but you always thought it was fake. you are a jewish rat that can read, an walkinator calls you frogmonkey
    [00:28] walkinator has come down to your home
    [00:28] defend the home or welcome him?
    ________________________________________
    [00:29] > welcome him
    [00:29] == Omega [webchat@c-98-216-244-56.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] has joined #hello-operator
    [00:29] hi
    [00:29] hi
    [00:30] you welcom walkinator to your home
    [00:30] he promptly deficates on your torah
    [00:30] D:
    [00:31] and he then bangs his asian prostitute, refusing to acknowledge the piles and piles of dead prostitutes he was supposed to feed
    [00:31] he vomits up an entirely new torah that looks as though it is fresh from printing
    [00:32] there is no trace of it being vomit
    [00:32] it is his gift of thanks
    [00:32] team up?
    [00:32] sure!
    [00:32] >y
    [00:32] Also
    [00:32] I gotta go
    [00:32] +
    [00:32] Hi Omega!
    [00:33] bye
    [00:33] Hi sir!
    [00:33] Bye sir!
    [00:33] see you sir
    [00:33] Bye Omega and Tat!
    [00:33] when did you get red
    [00:33] bye
    [00:33] bai bai bai sir
    [00:33] == SirPwn [webchat@r49-2-6-207.cpe.vividwireless.net.au] has left #hello-operator []
    [00:34] welp
    [00:34] i think we might leave it off here
    [00:34] alrighty
    [00:34] it's a good spot to end for part two
    [00:34] i agree
    [00:34] also it would be easier for me to catch up
    [00:35] END OF EVANGELIQUEST/THE BINDING OF WALKINATOR/THE URNATION OF ISAAC ACT 1 PART 1
    avatar

    Post on Sat Feb 16, 2013 6:41 am by Rahvin

    I missed it.

    That is crappy.

    At least I saved a cat!
    avatar

    Post on Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:32 am by Kyle

    http://pastebin.com/jJxqMuxt <-- since for some reason irc names don't show up on this forum

    Post  by Sponsored content


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