I managed to lucid dream last night somehow, it was pretty chill.
I was in my grandparents house where I spent a lot of time growing up and I knew that I was dreaming because those grandparents are both dead, rip. But I miss them.. I made the conscious decision to soak up the sights, sounds, and smells of their house. I was sad because I knew that I was the only thing in the dream that was real, so I imagined my mom was there with me.
I didn't have the heart to tell my mom that she wasn't real because she was so happy to explore with me. She told me what things were out of place, and shared some of her memories with me to help fill in the places I couldn't remember so well.
In their bedroom I saw them both laying in their bed, and I got hugs from them. I didn't have the heart to tell them they were dead, I was just happy to see them and to feel their hugs and see their smiles.. I remember the nursery they had where they grew orchids, these exotic beautiful flowers from all over the world, of all colors and smells.
I remember the dusty smell of their basement, and how it always smelled like it had been freshly painted the whole 15 years they owned the place.
I remember sitting on the counter in the kitchen and rifling through the cabinets, looking for snacks and only finding old stale food. My mom made the joke that all the snacks would be expired because its been 11+ years since we were last in that house, and my mom also knew that the grandparents were dead, and the house had been sold to people outside the family and we were really never going to go inside that house again. I think my mom knew she wasn't real, but she wasn't going to ruin it for me.
I remember near the end of the dream my brain started to feel very warm because its not easy to rebuild a world down to the t.. I remembered the funky angles of the corners of the rooms, the grade of the vaulted ceilings, how much room there was between the walls and the fireplace in the center of the living room. What kind of rug was on the ground in that room, the shade of the hardwood on the floor, 3 people complete with personalities and sounds and smells and feels, 3 voices and opinions in addition to my own. I had to remember eye color, hair color, hair length. The pitch and tones of their voices, their speaking patterns and commonly used phrases... I soaked up everything I could, and my mom would guide me around and say things like: "remember when we stayed in these guest rooms that winter our power got shut off?"
And she'd say things like: "remember the housekeeper they used to have that ended up stealing from them?" and for a brief moment I'd have her walk through the kitchen and my mom would say something like: "she was taller." and i'd make her taller and my mom would say: "not THAT tall" and I'd work on the world until I got things right by my mom's standards because I was just a child back then, I don't have the best memory of those things but with someone older there she could remember more about it.
It was a very emotional walk down memory lane. Last time I lucid dreamed I created monsters and had super powers and could fly and all kinds of other shit. I went and got laid last time, I did drugs last time. This time I spent the entire lucid dream trying to recreate my family. I don't have a lot of family..
My mom, my dad, they each have 1 sibling and a set of parents. Its a very small family...my wife's family is huge, and I'm basically in that family now, so for me to think about my own family was weird and good. I miss them, but not as much as I did because I just got all the hugs I could ever get. I just visited them as if I traveled in time, and it was a pretty magical experience for me. I remember telling my mom it was time to wake up, that I couldn't hold the dream together any longer and that we should leave before it devolved into whatever random stuff I dream about normally.
She said she didn't want to see what I dream about normally, we both looked at each other and breathed in the air of the old house one last time, felt a wall or a chair or something, and I woke up.
Here we are, and I have to get ready for work. Thanks for walking down memory lane about a walk down memory lane.